Today another day working on the three 40/40 cm paintings. I recognized today that I was already getting a bit more in the ‘this has to become a good piece’-mode, but then after that I dropped that and just happily painted along, without too much pressure on it. Again for a short time (too much other work that is calling me).
I realized that the longer I paint daily, the less I care if I make something ‘good’. Since I promised myself to paint daily paradoxically the pressure goes of. I don’t think in product, I think in process. The only important thing is that I show up. I can’t control the outcome, but i can control (within limits) that I show up. And if I do, I can be content.
The question is then: do I make worse art by being not too attached? I think not: because I am not too invested I can paint more freely. I still am using my intuition and I make still decisions on whatever I feel. What color shall I pick? What marks shall I make? Where does the painting looks boring? But I worry less about if these decisions will turn out right. The most important thing is that I stay in the process.
Some days I can feel this more easy then other days (like today). I think when a painting starts to come together it is more difficult. The risks of spoiling the thing get bigger. I am still learning to let go!
Yes, Dotty, I realized it again, when I wrote it. It is the same old story again,
I guess I am telling it again and again, als to myself because I also need to hear it, since maybe this is the most important thing, and also the one that is the hardest to grab/understand. And I often don’t feel it in the moment… I also need to hear it every day!
Simone, I love that you paint a little bit each day and then post the day’s painting, because I get to see the development bit by bit. With these pieces it is especially delightful to see how bright and playful they’ve become after a neutral quieter beginning (something I wouldn’t be able to see in the same way if I only saw the end product), and it’s so valuable to see the role the neutral bits play as you move along.
Your discussion of painting daily and thinking in process vs. product never gets old for me. I can’t hear it enough! It is just what I want to be hearing today! (Well, really, it’s what I want to be hearing EVERY day!)