Today a strange day.
It ook one of my ‘first layers’ with al small circles on it. Already looked quite nice: beautiful colours, nice crayon lines.
I started work on it, but felt more and more in a corner. What to do about this?
Finally I started to get really upset about it. I was irritated that I felt ‘smaller and smaller’. So in a flash I took white paint, chose my biggest brush, and put a whole lot of white on it. And after that pink, and after that black. And after that I made prints with the leftover paint on the canvas. (and I also glued some papers on the canvas).
I now feel a bit sad, because all the small beautiful details are gone… Maybe I should not have been so impulsive. But I was. So be it. And maybe tomorrow or the day after new possibilities will arise. It is only paint….
with love,
Simone
(ps: to make things clear: I put two photo’s: one before, one after …;-)
Madeleine, I’m so glad you joined the conversation! You brought light into a literally dark gray day and figuratively dark gray past few weeks. Your words could have been my own: “this is just so seasonally/energetically accurate for me! the bright & beautiful is increasingly obscure while the dark & brooding is building, and with it the frustration, like the last leaf clinging to the limb!” The difference is that you made a connection that I did not, i.e. my own painting of late and the seasonal energy that has permeated me are part and parcel of the same thing. How is it that I forget?!
this is just so seasonally/energetically accurate for me! the bright & beautiful is increasingly obscure while the dark & brooding is building, and with it the frustration, like the last leaf clinging to the limb! Oh, the freedom you have found in this…thank you both, Simone & Dotty, i am inspired by each of you.
Thanks Madeleine. SO nice that you comment on this blog! I guess you are right: it is the time in the year that the old is ready to pass away, and the new is not yet here…
And yes: I felt sad and confused yesterday, but also had a feeling of freedom: I don’t care what others think, I don’t care wat I think, I don’t care if never ever something acceptable comes out of all this work: I have my paint and my canvas and nobody can take that away from me. Sounds a bit pathetic maybe, but in the core that is what it is.
Thanks again!
I opened your blog, saw the small excerpt image at the top and thought: WHOA! Where have I landed? I sat right up and took notice.
Here are some gifts of this painting:
1. I am in SUCH a similar spot with a painting of my own. Was getting more and more frustrated/irritated as I worked yesterday, and then got impulsive, to no apparent good, but—as you say—it’s just paint. Wonder where I’ll go with it today. I actually woke in the night and thought at one point: I’m going to cover the whole thing with black.
2. I see much beauty and expressive energy in your painting, many appealing sweeps of color, and engaging hints of the underpainting.
3. I now look forward to my studio time today, whereas when I woke up I was feeling discouraged.
The best thing of the above was that you said that you looked forward to your own studio time in stead of feeling discouraged. Yay!
For me indeed it had mixed feelings: on one hand: where have all the beautiful colours gone. But on the other hand: freedom to do what I want, or freedom to let happen everything that comes around.
And that feels very good ;-)