At this moment there are going on so many exciting things that need so much time to work out, that it is difficult for me to take the time, to slow down and to sit and create. I did it anyway, since I feel that this daily creating is the backbone of everything I am doing right now. I kind of felt stuck with the last and third painting. I felt I was painting too ‘nicely’. But I did not want to take a big brush and steer everything in a completely new direction. So I just took out a white marker, some white paint, and just starting to make new marks, then cover some of them up again, and soon a new direction started to emerge.
I did no want to completely finish it though. Too many things on my mind, not enough ‘stillness’ inside me to finish it. But that is okay.
Yesterday it was so good to write down the direction this website is taking.
I wrote down this yesterday
:
My dream is that this website will become an inspiring place for everybody who yearns for living a more creative life, who wants to start painting or creating on a regular or even daily basis. For everybody who thinks (s)he can’t do it, she is not advanced enough, she should have gone to art school. Who thinks it is too late, or has not the right materials, not the right studio, not the right supportive people around her. Who is afraid she has no time to paint. Or feels painting is such a frivolous thing, not worth pursuing it, since there are so many more important things to do. Etcetera. Fill in the blanks.
And later that evening I realized that saying that out/writing that down loud felt so good!
This website, or maybe even business later on, is not only about ME, my painting, showing myself in the world, selling my paintings.
But it is also about something bigger: that I want my website/business to be an inspiring and affirming place for everybody who feels compelled to make art, regardless their experience.
Something else helped me too. My dear art friend and daily supporter Dotty Seiter told me in a comment yesterday this:
Trust that your already clear and communicative command of English will only grow stronger. It will. It may feel limited to you, because it is not your native tongue and because you know how much more capably you can express yourself in Dutch, but your audience will be grateful for what is right in front of them: the richness your words hold and the doors your words open.
That also felt so good! It is not about me, making a fool of myself by talking English in an imperfect way. It is about what the words point to, that it is all about. The English is a medium, chosen because it is the only way I can ‘reach’ people worldwide. I don’t need to feel ‘less’ or ‘unprofessional’ until nobody notices that I am not a native speaker anymore.
Maybe it even can turn out into something positive. There are many, many non-native English speakers all around the globe. They can also feel intimidated to communicate in a language that they haven’t grown up with. Which is a pity, because why should only the native English speakers feel free to express themselves? Again: it is what the words point to, and not if the grammar is correct, if the interpunction is right and if the vocabulary is a bit small or not exactly to the point.
As long as we understand each other all around the world, there are no problems. Who cares if the language imperfect?
Okay, enough preaching for now ;-)
Going back to all kinds of mundane things, such as: finding out how Google Analytics works ;-)
Bye!
Simone
Hi Dotty,
Thanks for all the above!
I am going to find out what is wrong with the blog subscription. There are two kinds of subscriptions, that might be confusing. One is for the newsletter, one is for the blogupdates. Some people maybe don’t want my daily painting news every day in their inbox, and might only be interested in hearing from me less often. That’s why I separated the two kinds of subscriptions.
Maybe something else went wrong, I have to find out.
About the Dutch in the blogpost. I really like the idea. I know when I see words in a language that I don’t completely understand, but I can relate to a little bit because of the similarity with Dutch (for instance Swedish, or Danish) I indeed can experience that as a form of poetry. You just get a hint of a different world that you know is there, only just out of your reach.
Actually also languages I don’t understand a single word of can be beautiful. For instance yesterday I was thinking about a piece of choir music, that I sung about ten years ago, from the Estonian composer Veljo Tormis ( On Hillisuvi). The text goes something like this:
On hilissuvi
Ja lõhnab angervaks
ja tulilill
ja ohakas.
On hilissuvi,
Ja pihlapuus
on marjakobar,
ja männikus
on kanarbik.
Ja seda suve
ei tule enam.
That is completely out of reach for me. A totally different language world. But beautiful!
So I am going to think about the Dutch!
Bye, and thanks again!
Simone
Simone, your excitement is radiant! And contagious!
Your example of holding fast to your commitment to and backbone of painting daily is such a gift, as is your discussion of process. I can see softnesses in your painting that speak to your being mindful as you painted even while also feeling caught up in so many other engagements.
As you know, your blog has been an inspiring and affirming place for me in the past months since I first met you and we discovered our shared experience of feeling compelled to make art. I know it will become so for many others.
I have a question and a thought to share.
Question: In subscribing, I had hoped your posts might show up in my email. But now I am not sure that is the case. Does subscribing mean only that I will receive a periodic newsletter? Wondering …
Thought: perhaps you might like to write one-two sentences in Dutch in each of your blog posts, either right at the beginning, or maybe in closing (or, I suppose, anywhere in the middle, for that matter!). The sentences will not be translations of sentences that are also written in English in the post, but rather a small gift of a thought from you that non-Dutch speakers can translate online or just take as a ‘nonverbal’ communication, another painting, so to speak, another little something on the page that expresses to us something from inside you.