Dear readers,

After working very hard on the paintings for the exhibition I am now determined to really take time to explore, to try out, to not feel ‘obliged’ to go in the direction of finished paintings. Take my time to explore new terrains.

As I said yesterday, I have been thinking a lot about the whole topic of art, creativity and why it is so important, for me, but I guess I am not the only one who can profit of engaging in artmaking.

It is so much more than ‘making pretty things’. After playing and practicing a lot, and after a lot of time in the studio (which is in my case not so much more than my desk and four square metres behind my desk), beauty will pop up, because every time I experiment and play with paint and crayon, I see what happens, and I like it or not, and naturally I will want to move in the direction of what I like.

But beauty is not the primary goal. Primary is being in the moment, follow the impulse that is happening Right Now. Trusting myself that nothing can go wrong, whatever I do. I say to myself: it is only paint. But even it was ‘only my life’ nothing can ever go really wrong. Life is living itself, the painting is painting itself. I am not separated from the paint and the paintbrush and the paper or the canvas. We are one naturally moving organic whole.

But sometimes I get trapped in self-doubt, criticism, harsh judgment. I want that I succeed, that only beauty is coming out. Faithfully continuing the path of art and creativity shows me that beauty ánd ugliness can be welcomed. I can be thankful for the beauty, and I can always proceed with the ‘ugliness’ (sometimes something very beautiful comes out of it). And if not: I can paint it over. Nobody cares!

So much more to say about this, but I am very passionate about it. I think there is so much wisdom to be found in this art-process, that you can learn so much through it that helps ‘living your life’. It is not merely a ‘hobby’ that helps recover from the stress of daily life (actually it does that too – and it could be reason enough to do it).

Maybe you could even call it a spiritual or contemplative practice, but than not sitting on a prayer stool or on a meditation cushion, but with paint under your fingernails and glue sticking on your fingers. A very earthy kind of spirituality.

Enough preaching for now! ;-)

What I did today: same as yesterday: using fine pencil, black and white acrylic marker, black acrylics and black tissue paper, and now also Quinacridone Nickel Azo Gold en Green Gold (van het merk Golden fluid acrylics). I especially like the white crylic marker on top of the black and the colours.

Bye! Thanks for reading this, and I am curious if other painters recognize the above.

Simone